5 Tips for Hosting an Allergy-Friendly Holiday Party
Holiday parties can be stressful, but throw a food allergy or sensitivity into the mix, and that stress increases tenfold for both the party host and the party goer. According to Food Allergy Research & Education’s website “approximately 32 million people in the United States have food allergies.” Chances are, you’ll be hosting or attending a party with one of those people this holiday season.
In 1982, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, long before it was popular and long before anyone besides my own mother was expected to provide me with something to eat. In the past 37 years, I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating the occasionally awkward moments surrounding food at holiday parties.
Hosting a party with dietary restrictions can be as tricky as attending one. But, with a little forethought, a good deal of understanding, and a shift in focus everyone can enjoy this time of year together; here’s how.
1. ASK IF YOUR GUESTS HAVE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES
In the United States, there are eight major allergens – eggs, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, wheat and soy. Creating a menu that avoids all of these items is overwhelming, and usually unnecessary. Asking your guests ahead of time which, if any, of these allergens they need to avoid will help guide your menu. Offer a private means of response for you guests so their allergy doesn’t become everyone’s business unless they want it to.
2. SHARE YOUR MENU AHEAD OF TIME
Knowing what your guest’s needs are will let you make informed decisions when creating your menu and you’ll find each allergen requires a different game plan. No matter what your guests are allergic or sensitive to I recommend passing along your menu, recipes and even pictures of the ingredients listed on the packages because the ins and outs of each allergy are tricky. I always appreciate people taking the time to send along any information they have; it helps me decide whether or not I’m comfortable eating that particular item.
So, does every item on your menu have to be (insert allergen here) free? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Here’s a breakdown:
Eggs and milk: While these are considered anaphylactic allergies – meaning they cause a severe allergic reaction that can affect all parts of the body including breathing – typically, the egg or milk containing item would need to be ingested to cause a reaction. Dairy intolerance is another consideration. However, in the case of a diary intolerance it needs to be eaten to be harmful and can occasionally even be enjoyed in small doses with little ill effect. Your menu can safely include both egg and/or milk free and egg and/or milk containing items.
Peanuts, tree nuts, fish and shellfish: These are all anaphylactic allergies. All of these allergies have the potential to be harmful in trace amounts. Even the steam emitted from cooking shellfish and fish can cause a reaction in some people! It is best to avoid these items all together when creating your menu.
Wheat: This is another potentially anaphylactic allergy. More commonly, people are gluten intolerant (wheat, rye, barley and any oats not specifically listed as GF, contain gluten – a binding protein) or have Celiac Disease. In the case of Celiac Disease, gluten needs to be ingested to cause damage. However, even small amounts of gluten spread through cross contamination (shared serving utensils, poorly cleaned work surfaces) can cause intestinal damage to a person with Celiac Disease. Your menu can include both gluten and non-gluten containing items if extreme care is taken to avoid cross-contamination.
Soy: It is rare for people to suffer an anaphylactic reaction to soy; however, it is possible. Typically, soy must be ingested to cause a reaction. Your menu can include both soy and non-soy containing items.
You still with me? That’s a lot! It may feel scary to cook for someone with one of these allergies or intolerances, so don’t hesitate to ask for help. If you’re totally overwhelmed, and even if you’re not, it’s often a good idea to ask that guest to bring their favorite dish. I love when people ask me to bring something, then I know there is at least one thing I can eat. I will sometimes even scoop my portion out before I get there (on a plate with some other tasty GF food brought from home) so I don’t have to worry about cross contamination…and neither do you!
3. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY IF SOMEONE DOESN’T EAT YOUR FOOD
With all that said, do not be offended if someone isn’t eating what you made, even if you think you made it in accordance with their dietary restrictions. Now, I may be in the minority here but, I never expect a host to accommodate my needs (unless it’s my immediate family, then you better have some gluten free cookies on hand). Celiac Disease is my problem, and I do not expect people to alter their plans, their kitchens or their menus to accommodate me. You may go out of your way to prepare a regular and a gluten free lasagna, but you can’t be expected to monitor which serving spoon people are using for each or where the extra crumby Italian bread is positioned in relation to the GF lasagna. Those things matter as much as the gluten free noodles. Please do not take it personally if a guest does not eat what you prepare.
4. DON’T PUSH THE ISSUE
While I always appreciate the effort when someone is thoughtful enough to take the time to include a gluten free item on their menu, I am not willing to sacrifice my health for politeness, and I will not eat something that I am not 100% sure about. Occasionally, I come across a host who is determined to get me to eat something and the conversation invariably goes from a polite refusal to an in-depth explanation of what Celiac is, how I was diagnosed, and what happens if I eat gluten (believe me, this is not dinner conversation), and everyone involved ends up feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.
5. MAKE IT ABOUT THE FUN, NOT THE FOOD
I’ve been the person who sits through a whole dinner without eating a single thing and it doesn’t bother me. In the end, I’m happy to be out of my house and having a conversation with someone over the age of nine. But, to avoid that awkwardness, try planning a get together where food isn’t the main attraction. Start an adult party after dinner, or plan a family gathering after naps but before dinner: play games, catch up and relax. When we shift the focus of our gatherings from food to fun, especially during the holidays, we are truly able to connect with one another.
For more information on food allergies visit www.foodallergy.org. For information on Celiac Disease check out www.celiac.org and for local resources visit The University of Chicago’s Celiac Center.
About the Author
Jessica Korzyniewski is a content writer, but in the past 10 years she has also been a wife, a special education teacher, a mother, a daycare provider, an advocate, and a fundraising coordinator. Having been gluten free long before it was cool, she has become a GF mentor to many. To see more of Jessica’s writing visit her LinkedIn page or email her at [email protected] and keep an out for her latest project with Waterlemon coming this January!
Thank you, Jessica!!!